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This is Halloween!

October 26, 2010

Festive greetings one and all! As you are all aware, we are rapidly approaching the merriest of all seasons. The magic in the air, the sound of children’s laughter, the zombies ambling through the streets…oh, Happy Halloween everyone! Can you believe it’s rolled around again already! It seems like only yesterday that I woke up sprawled across my bed in full Little Dead Riding Hood costume after last year!

At least I was smart enough not to pass out in view of a camera!

Now I take Halloween quite seriously. I don’t do shop bought costumes. I’m more than happy to get covered in glue, suffer through pin pricks and coated in face paint, and to make an absolute ass of myself to really get into the swing of things! Why blend in with all the other Sexy Cats, Sexy Builders, Sexy Traffic Wardens or Sexy Houses around, when you could be anything…ANYTHING!…for one night only! Now, I do have to admit, while I’m good at making costumes, I’m not as adventurous as I could be with my costume choices most years. Last year, as I mentioned, I was Little Dead Riding Hood, complete with gouge marks and dragged-through-a-bush hair, and the year before I was Snow White, although, having very fair skin, black curly hair and being a fan of red lipstick, that one was pretty easy. I’m shown up by  my friends every year, who go all out and manage to come up with the most original and most enthusiastic costumes every single time! My friend Martha is very good, and manages to employ every inch of her imagination every year. She’s been a robot (with fully working front electrical panel), a skunk, a Siamese twin, and last year a Troll. Not the under the bridge variety now, I’m talking about the doll, complete with oversized hands and feet, uberly-tanned skin, and enough orange-coloured hairspray to tango an army. Another friend, Sarah, thoroughly believes that Halloween gives the world the unique opportunity to look as disgusting as possible for a few hours, and she does not waste those hours! The year before last, she was the most convincing corpse bride most people will ever see, but she really outdid herself last year. From layers of facepaint and liquid latex, she managed to sculpt herself into a decaying zombie so horrifying foul-looking that many people actually refused to stand next to her for a lot of the night!

Look at her. Gross. And she’ll take that as a compliment!

Now, I know not everyone will be as comfortable being as disgusting as my lovely friend Sarah up there. But that’s ok! You don’t have to look like your skin is peeling off to enjoy Halloween! There is middle ground between rotting flesh and that Sexy Maid costume that would be oh-so-easy to buy (but where’s the reward there?!). Consider these costume ideas, once again sourced from that bounty of handmade tutorials that is!

1. Human Disco ball:

A costume guaranteed to make you the centre of every party! You’ll light up the room! You’ll be a handy mirror for anyone needing to touch up the fake blood on their mouths! And the auther of the tutorial has even provided his very own pun – DiscoBelle of the Ball! Genius! It’s the costume that keeps on giving!

And it's the perfect costume idea for anyone concealing a pregnancy!

2. “Alien” costume:

Tecnically, known as the “Holy crap! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!” costume, or alternatively the “I’ve been locked in my room making this since March” costume. Either way, there’s no way anyone else has even a chance at winning that costume competition this year. Take that, Sexy Leprechaun!

If that comes Trick-or-Treating to your house, just throw the sweet bowl at it and barricade the windows.

3. Various foodstuffs costumes:

If you’re particularly fond of a particular snack or meal, why not pay homage to it this Halloween and really get your teeth into your costume making! You could be the toast of the town in your very own Sandwich costume! Or wouldn’t you look a-Maize-ing in this Corn on the Cob outfit! Or, you know, just go as a bagel.

There are surprisingly few bagel-related puns.

4. The Toilet Roll costume:

I’m sorry. Anyone with any fragile sensibilities or any sense of propriety look away now, because I’m gonna go there.

If you wear this costume, you’ll be the shit.

Just (ahem) roll with it.

Creeps, costumes and creativity, what’s not to love? Even if none of these ideas float your boat, don’t pay exhorbitant amounts of money for Sexy jumpsuits, Sexy army fatiques, or Sexy baby outfits (seriously? What the hell?) made from such cheap, flammable material that you’ll have to avoid standing near an open flame all night. Remember there is always  another option, a timeless classic. A costume that will never go out of style, involves no effort, very little money, and gives you hundreds of options with just a change of hat, mask or make-up. The simple bin bag. Making Halloween special since the 1980s.

Ah, memories...

Love, Jenny xxx

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