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Playing dress-up (with added nipple flashing)

February 17, 2011

A few months ago my best friend and I went to Paris for a weekend. We stayed in the cheapest hotel possible, where the bathroom was so small that the bathroom door had to be open to be able to get into the shower. In between wandering the vast halls of the Louvre, falling in love with Montmartre and drinking overpriced alcohol in bars filled with overbearingly beautiful people (preceded, of course, by swilling cheap vodka in the comfort of our charming cupboard of a hotel room), we also paid a visit to Paris’ second-most famous burlesque show, the Lido. While not as well known as the Moulin Rouge, the opportunity to dress up, sip (i.e. swig) the complimentary bottle of champagne, and watch scantily clad ladies perform elaborate dance routines with even more elaborate set pieces was well worth the extravagant ticket price.

Champagne makes everyone more classy.

My highlight of the whole show however was the chance to see all the beautifully constructed and minutely detailed costumes. From glittering gowns and sparking tuxedos, to Aztec dresses and Indian saris, the abundance of rhinestones, sequins, silk and feathers, leather and lace combined to make each piece so spectacular that you barely even noticed the number of nipples flashing across the stage. By the end of the show, I was itching to break into their wardrobe department, if only to get a closer look at each and every seam, before disappearing into the night loaded down with ill-gotten crystals and lace trimmings – oh the trimmings!

Boobs? What boobs?

This lust for all things lovely and shiny has been with me from a young age, but returned to me full-force once again last week after witnessing the ballet costumes in Black Swan. While I found the story gripping and the performances excellent, what seized me most when leaving the cinema (aside from the confusing new feelings toward Mila Kunis!) was the intense desire to get my hands on those dance costumes. My dreams of becoming a ballerina myself were cruelly dashed at a young age by my parents refusing to let me have lessons (although a horrifically agonizing toe cramp a few days ago made me very grateful that my feet have not been subjected to the torture of en pointe twirling for the last 19 years). Despite this, my desire to dress in tutus, ribbons and silk has never left me…which, let’s face it, is the only reason my 5 year old self wanted to do ballet in the first place. Even back then I had no co-ordination.


Look at her flaunting her tutu and ballet slippers at me. Bitch.

Having no money, I’ve been trying to come up with cheap and easy ways to inject some Swan Lake loveliness into my life. While I have my eye on this should a sudden monetary windfall happen to come my way, I’ve mostly been keeping my eye out for lots of inexpensive silks and feather trimming with which to swathe myself in. I’ve already used feathers in my “In A Flap” headpieces (which, incidentally, can be purchased here!), and have just made 10 more to add to the collection, but I am now determined to replicate the piece that Natalie Portman wears as the White Swan – sparklingly white feathers and an abundance of crystals – just the thing to add a touch of costume drama to pints on the weekend!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 17, 2011 20:06

    I really love your blog posts Jenny, you write so nicely. You should write more. x

  2. Yvonne Ryan permalink
    March 21, 2011 19:43

    Agreed! And so full of wit!

  3. October 14, 2012 15:54

    I don’t know where to start, but I do know this. I will listen more to what others have to say, and I don’t mean just glance over it but to take it to heart as what my fellow Americans mean.

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